down.

i don't like feeling so down. i don't even know why i am. i shouldn't be! summer is almost heerreeeeeee! i should be happy. i don't know. i think that i just..need some time off. maybe. or, avoidance is always key.

stress, stress, stress!

ahhh! i should not feel stressed! not at all! but, i am. i don't know. everything feels so messed up. and i was not in a good mood today at all. it's silly anyway. i shouldn't be upset. i knew this was going to happen. and besides, i had my chance. this is ridiculous, and this needs to stop. now.

interviews.

ahh! so friday was the interview i was anticipating. i was excited..kinda, and i got an early dismissal! yay! haha. anywayy..i sat there and then there was already two people sitting there and then i sat down and two more came in and i remember thinking "oh my god. please do not tell me that this is a group interview." and of course, it had to be one. lol. anyway. i was just like. ahh! kill me. because i knew i'd get nervous speaking in front of other people. and all my plans to give a good impression got shot to hell cuz i was so nervous! anyway..so we were supposed to introduce ourselves, and OMG. i saw daniel ng again. ahhaha. i did not recognize him; it was so crazy. but it looked like he didn't remember me. haha. oh well. i just hope i did well. i mean, considering we answered the same question right after one another, and it was like the same answers...but idk. i really want this job. otherwise, i might apply for armani exchange..but that's only if they don't have an age requirement. abercrombie would've been my first choice, but 1. you have to be 17 2. you have to work like 4 times a week even though you want to be a parttimer 3. i don't have transportation....which if that was really the case, i wouldn't apply for any job at all..but whateverrr.

ahhaha. i really shouldn't be blogging. i spent the whole day procrastinating. lol. however, i DID finish my paper for photography. let me tell you..that was the easiest paper i've ever written! i also went driving with my mom..but she wouldn't let me out of the parking lot. i mean, i understand why she wouldn't the first day because we needed to establish where i was on the driving scale of 1-10, but the second day?! come on, i'm better than that! ahhaha. and then she asked me, are you ready to go on the road? and i'm like..hmm. i think that question is more for you. lool. anywhooo. i will get back to work. or at least attempt to..



OH BUGGER. i just checked. and you need to be at least 18 to work at armani.dammit. ahhaa. why ami never old enough to do anything!?

mother's day.

whooop. happy mother's day! it was uneventful..especially since we celebrated it on friday. LOL. but geeezzz. i felt bad today. there was so much to do at work that we couldn't leave, and i hadn't even started my junior project yet! it was a dilemma, i tell you. anyway, i got all antsy because we weren't leaving..and i was in the bitchiest mood. my momma doesn't deserve that any day, but especially mother's day! anyway, i made her a really cool card that she really likes! it was like of a sunset and palm trees with....yup, you guessed it! a treasure box! tafoya's class was making cute little boxes so i had my genius idea. ahhaa. it was cool. i cut out a little box on the card and stuck it in. i also folded a bunch of money into squares to pay for the shoes and when she opened it, she kept saying: "whooo!" hahaa. pachia says it's such typical asian behavior. AHHAHA.

anyway, JUNIOR PROJECT! sheeeeeesssshh. i was soo stressed. i still am, actually. but since i got most of the powerpoint done, i'm chill. i just have to wait until tomorrow, because typical me, i FORGOT my book in my locker. :[ but it's all thanks to pachia that i finished. ahhaha. she helped me form my thesis and everything. ahah. it's funny. we're so alike. when i first started, i had the same background AND font as her! it was scarrrryyy. then i told her i was blogging and she was like OMGGGG i just did too! haha. i'm so silly.

okay, okay. this must be the most i've typed in this blog...ever! ahha. i think that i should get going. i really really need to finish my other work. FJKADSA. i'm not going to be ready for anything!!! let's seee: spanish test tomorrow, civil rights test tuesday, junior project presentation tuesday, thank god i'm not taking the ap (ahahah), work on spanish presentation, interview friday, yearbook interview sometime soon... AHHHH.

okay. breattheeeee. it's gonna be fine josephine. oh, side note, (beware. i'm going to talk to myself. lol.) josephine. all this is not good for your heart. calm down and stop thinking about it. HHHAH. okay. goodnight!

i'll call it.

or maybe not. i will never ever ever try to call anyone's bluff ever again. i will not, i refuse to go into details, but let's just say that this morning was interesting...and shockingly, i kept thinking about it. occasionally. wow. ahhaha. okay, onto writing my intro for the JUNIOR PROJECT!


oh..ps. happy cinco de mayo! oops, i just typed mayon. HAHA. it was fun. as i was getting off work, i heard some music with a really nice bass..people celebrating cinco de mayo, no doubt. but it was really cute. well, what i saw in my head anyway. lol.

my sun after the storm.

hmm. i had a really bad day today. i finally let a few more people know about that "elusive not so much of a past" of mine. it was terrible. it always feels good to talk about it, but then i always feel terrible after. it's like those family responsibilities are too ingrained in my mind. it always goes back to protecting my family. there are so many things i wish i could do, but i never really can. and i was just thinking today, when i was sad, that it kind of scares me how much i depend on you for my existence when i'm sad. i don't know. eventually, i guess i can't always use you as a crutch, but right now, it feels so comforting to know that somehow, things will get better once you say: "josie! how have you been? we haven't talked in a long time!" even though it's only been a few days. i don't know. i think i just need a few days, even months, to sort through all this. and then maybe, only maybe, will i be fine.

4/20

so hmm. yesterday was 4/20. national weed day. i didn't even remember it until someone mentioned it in class. hahaha. mannn. my roll of film came out, but my favorite picture got blanked out. :[ boo. okay. i need to start my homework. i'm so sick of doing these things. just knowing the end of school is near makes me lazy. i also need to start on my spanish presentation.. :[ okay, off to do, or try to do, homework!