i'll call it.

or maybe not. i will never ever ever try to call anyone's bluff ever again. i will not, i refuse to go into details, but let's just say that this morning was interesting...and shockingly, i kept thinking about it. occasionally. wow. ahhaha. okay, onto writing my intro for the JUNIOR PROJECT!


oh..ps. happy cinco de mayo! oops, i just typed mayon. HAHA. it was fun. as i was getting off work, i heard some music with a really nice bass..people celebrating cinco de mayo, no doubt. but it was really cute. well, what i saw in my head anyway. lol.

my sun after the storm.

hmm. i had a really bad day today. i finally let a few more people know about that "elusive not so much of a past" of mine. it was terrible. it always feels good to talk about it, but then i always feel terrible after. it's like those family responsibilities are too ingrained in my mind. it always goes back to protecting my family. there are so many things i wish i could do, but i never really can. and i was just thinking today, when i was sad, that it kind of scares me how much i depend on you for my existence when i'm sad. i don't know. eventually, i guess i can't always use you as a crutch, but right now, it feels so comforting to know that somehow, things will get better once you say: "josie! how have you been? we haven't talked in a long time!" even though it's only been a few days. i don't know. i think i just need a few days, even months, to sort through all this. and then maybe, only maybe, will i be fine.

4/20

so hmm. yesterday was 4/20. national weed day. i didn't even remember it until someone mentioned it in class. hahaha. mannn. my roll of film came out, but my favorite picture got blanked out. :[ boo. okay. i need to start my homework. i'm so sick of doing these things. just knowing the end of school is near makes me lazy. i also need to start on my spanish presentation.. :[ okay, off to do, or try to do, homework!

wheeeeeee

i'm a semi good driver. :] at least that's what the instructor said...i finally had my first lesson today! wooot. ahha. and i'm not dead..so that's an added bonus. anywayyyy. hmm. i know i wanted to write more, but i just can't remember right now. ahhaa. i do remember when cosgrove was gone though, and we had mr. miles as a sub. his instructions were: "let the debate groups who haven't gone yet get together to work. and for the others, allow them to work on their annotated bibliographies. but it it doesn't happen, don't force it." hahha. i love that man. but sometimes i feel bad for him because no one really listens and when the bell rings and he's still talking, everyone just leaves. :/

fhdsklfjsklad. i hate being absentminded. oh well, i guess i will write more later....if i remember.



EDIT.

i was feeling a bit nostalgic (when i was on myspace becuase i'm hardly ever on anymore..) and i decided to llok through all my messages. let me tell you, that was such a terrible idea. now i feel extremely sad and stupid. note to self: never, never, ever do that again.

woot.

so i just finished my second data sheet for cosgrove! woot. i'm so happy. HAHAHAA. i was prepared AND early this time. :] anyway. these days have been hectic, and i feel to tired to write about my days, but anyway. just something i wanted to share:

I've carefully attached the two files discussed in class today. Do not tear them when you unattached them. If you do, Google "Scotch Tape"and follow instructions.C

okay, this may sound weird, but seriously. Mr. Cosgrove is the cutest little old man. AHHAHAAAHH.

spring break

doesn't feel so spring breaky. hahha. i'm bored out of my mind. i want to be somewhere else instead of baby sitting. on the bright side, i got my permit! yayyyyy! and my first driving lesson is this friday, good friday. :] and i also got a job offer to be a summer teacher's assistant at sac state for the ats program. i thought that was preeetyy cool. i decided to apply because i thought it'd be a fun experience, so i hope i get it.... (you had to send your transcript along with it...). hm..my life is extremely boring. i've already run out of things to say! hmmm. well, lately i've been "documenting" the growth of these flowers in my backyard. they're soo cute! but my sister thinks i'm weird. haha. oh well. fjdslkafjds. i guess i'm going to go be lazy and get fat, sitting in front of the tv, stuffing my face.

blackouts.

AHH! they are the scariest things ever! well, todays friday, finally. we had our renaissance rally, wohoo! :] i think that this was the best one yet; it was so cool. we had the "do you know the lyrics" and it was so fun just singing along and laughing. then we had "PROJECT RENAISSANCE" which was just like project runway (kinda), and Pachia was the winner! her dress was really cute. i would've totally bought it if it was sold in stores...only, i wouldn't want it glued together with super glue. LOL. but anyyway. yesterday...we had a blackout at school! it was soo scary. there i was just trying to develop pictures in the darkroom when the red light turns black and i was thinking that it burnt out or something. then the lights flickered and everything went totally black. tafoya came in and "rescued" us but there wasn't enough room in the capsule, so one person had to stay behind. and let me just say thank god that person wasn't me! haha. but we went back in to get our stuff and i nearly blinded everyone with the flash on my phone. then walking to second period was a major pain. everything was in chaos and it was pitch black. but upstairs wasn't so bad; we had skylights. so that's cool. anywayyy. the end to my very adventurous day was going all the way to border's to exchange my chuck palahniuk books for anne lamott (which pachia referred me to.) palahniuk was too graphic for me, but lamott is too into detail. ahh! what will i do? i frantically raced to finish in time today. let me say that i will never procrastinate so much in my life again! anyway, i have a really bad pain in my leg, so i think i'll just get some sleep.